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In war soldiers get injured, right? Here’s how different races exclaim:

When the BRITISH got shot – OH MY GOD…..!!!!
When the MALAY got shot – YA ALLAH….!!!
When the INDIAN got shot – AH-YOYO AMMAH…!!!
But when the CHINESE Hokkien got shot, they go – NABUEH CHEE BYE, TIOK


Signal for sex:

Man marries deaf girl. He mimes to her: “Let’s make a signal code if we
She nods and agrees. So he goes: “If I want sex, I’ll squeeze your

In response you can shake my penis once for “yes” and 50 times for


Smart Thambi

Thambi ask hooker how much for sex? She says: $50 on bed, $20 on sofa
and $10 on
He then hands her $50. She says: “You man of class, one time on bed…?”
He says: “NO!! 5 times on grass….”


Comfort in Friendship:

“Friends” are like underwear; always a comfort…
“Good friends” are like condoms; always protecting…
“Great friends” are like viagra; lift you up when you’re down …


New drink from Malaysia:

The Malaysian government has approved the release of a new drink made
cutting edge technology.
It’s a combination of Horlicks, Milo Kopi & Teh.
It’s called – “LICKMYKOTEH”….


Expiry date

A 95 yr old man sucks his 90yr old wife’s breast for 1/2 hour, drinks 2
drops of
her milk and dies…
Post-mortem report – Died of drinking something after EXPIRY DATE …

Biology Lesson

Teacher: A man’s penis has 2 key functions: Urination & Reproduction.

Student: But my dad uses it to brush our maid’s teeth.


Positive thinking

Positive thinking is like this…. A little bird flies up in the sky;
you look up
and it shits in your eye…
But you don’t mind and you don’t cry… But you thank God that cows


Sexy Grandma

Last night, grandma wore a see-through top, grandpa didn’t notice.
The 2nd night grandma wore a bikini, grandpa got a shock.
And on the 3rd night, she got naked and grandpa says to her: “why is
your dress
so crumpled…???”

Government job

A guy goes to interview for a Government job.
The interviewer asks him, “Are you a veteran?”
The guy says, “Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam.”

“Good,” says the interviewer, “That counts in your favor. Do you have
service-related disabilities?”
The guy says, “In fact I am 100% disabled. During a battle, an explosion
removed my private parts so they declared me disabled,
it doesn’t affect my ability to work, though.”

“Sorry to hear about the damage, but I have some good news for you, I
can hire
you right now !
Our working hours are 8 to 4. Come on in about 10, and we’ll get you
The guy says, “If working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to
come at
” Well, here at the government, we don’t do anything but sit around and
our balls for the first two hours. No point of your coming in for that


About captbokkhari

ex army engineer, freeflance


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